I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
