he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
