Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
