Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
