the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Well I just put wine in my tea
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
