But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
