it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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