The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Randomize