just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize