my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
He's on the porch naked. Help.
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