he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
