I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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