Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Randomize