I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
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