god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
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