yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
honey bunches of taint.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
