He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
