OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
