i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
God I need to hump something, right now.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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