sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize