Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Randomize
