Its about making memories worth repressing
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Randomize
