he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
