every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
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