Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
