Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
