Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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