On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
