i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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