So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
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