I hope mine doesn't look like that
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
