dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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