She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
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