I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Randomize
