Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
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