The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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