i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize
