what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
