so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize