Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
