All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Randomize
