What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Randomize
