Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
