I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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