Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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