So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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