My Higher Power is John Stamos
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Watching her eat just hurts me
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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