this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
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