I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
