i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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