It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize