Sponge bath it is.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Randomize
