Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
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