You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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