Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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