flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Randomize
