We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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