4 words: hood of his car
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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