There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
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