lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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