is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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