He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Randomize
