Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
