Betty ford says i'm here all night
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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