No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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