Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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