I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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