So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Can vaginas get frostbite?
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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